That Kinda Girl

She's that kinda girl,
Different from before,
'Cause I know she loves the Lord.
She's that kinda girl,
Virtuous in every way,
The kinda of girl that makes you say,
I hope she comes my way.

Michael and Amy Smalley in their book Don’t Date Naked (Tyndale House Publishers, 2003) suggest making a list of the qualities you feel are important in a future spouse before becoming involved in a dating relationship. They advocate this practice to help those seeking their soul mate contemplate the characteristics they feel are important in someone they are going to be spending the rest of their life before being blinded by love in the midst of a relationship.

Well, since I am not involved in a dating relationship at this moment, I find myself in the proper mental condition that Michael and Amy describe necessary to prepare this list. My wife must possess a…

Vibrant Relationship with the Lord. Of paramount importance is my wife’s spiritual condition and surrender to the Lord’s leading. She must be growing in her relationship with Christ, ready to communicate her faith with others, and share the deep sense of calling that I have. We will be partners in ministry and she must be called and willing to follow God’s leading.

Superior Intellect. I hear you mumbling, “Jon’s no intellectual heavyweight himself.” I think you are correct, but I think if I’m making a list I should aim high. I know I’m not the sharpest crayon in the box, but I can outwit a four-year-old. My wife should be intelligent, bright, and a “process thinker”–one able to envision the results of a multi-step process. I love to gain knowledge and anticipate marrying a girl that will share in that pursuit.

Great Sense of Humor. I like to laugh. I can be a little sarcastic. I dream of having a quick wit. The woman I marry should be able to roll with the punches, not take it personally, and shoot back a little sarcasm at the same time. Look, I’m a big boy and I can take a little good natured humor; I expect my wife to understand sarcasm and use it appropriately.

Love of People, Especially Children. Ministry in service to God requires a large amount of time spent with people, primarily building and developing relationships. To do this effectively requires a love for people, regardless of their appearance, race, or socioeconomic status. I love people and my wife must share in that love. I also love children and look forward to the day I will have my own. My wife must love children and be willing to have some of our own, especially a son, who I would suspect would look just like me. I have only one question: Can the world handle another guy as good looking as me? While the jury is out on that question, I will have to enjoy the time I get to spend with my nieces and nephews.

Chaste Life. Purity is something for which I strive, and I would expect my wife to have a pure life. That includes a purity of heart and mind, though it would also include a sexual purity. I can think of nothing greater in our relationship than knowing that we have only given our selves to each other and no one else.

Beautiful Body. Okay, I am a guy–how long did you think it was going to take for me to get to this quality. I do not want to marry someone who is unattractive, but many of the other characteristics are more important.

I am convinced that the lady to which God leads me will have all of these characteristics. She will be that kinda’ girl.